I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
