Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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