do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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