The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What drink are we having for lunch?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
