he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
