I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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