Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
