i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
