It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
