Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
