she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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