If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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