I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Everything about him screamed your future.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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