just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
