HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
