I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize