How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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