So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
