idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
