You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
