I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
