basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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