i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
