i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
