Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
