Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize