If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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