i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
