You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
