My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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