he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
