Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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