Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
