All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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