Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Semen is not good for contacts.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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