and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
