im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
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I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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