Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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