I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
