I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
