I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
