Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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