i think my mom watched the whole time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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