i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
