She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
dude. I can hear the air.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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