my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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