also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
