there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
