Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
