Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
