I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
