You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
