literally had 100 drinks last night.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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