I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
