I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
