I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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