no, he came in my armpit
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
