i permit you to call me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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