The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
