im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
