dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
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thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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