I'm so fucking centered right now
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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